Love is in the air… The most romantic day of the year brings excitement, romance, and butterflies in the stomach. After all, we all deserve some happiness. But have you ever wondered if it’s all too good to be true? We hate to burst your bubble, but romance scams are on the rise, especially around Valentine’s Day. If you’ve just met your love interest online and you haven’t met them yet, you might want to take off your pink glasses and have a better look at your relationship’s dynamics with pragmatic eyes.
What are romance scams?
A romance scam is a type of fraud where a person is tricked into believing they are in a romantic relationship with someone they met online. Scammers create fake profiles on dating sites and social media and quickly form emotional connections with their victims. Once trust is established, they ask for money, often for a “medical emergency” or “travel expenses.” Romance scams can have devastating consequences for victims, both financially and emotionally. It’s essential to be aware of the signs and protect yourself. Below are some stories of victims of these scams that you might find eye-opening.
How to recognize a romance scam
Online scams can take many forms, but they all play on the victim’s emotional vulnerabilities. Here are the red flags to watch out for:
- They profess their love too quickly: Scammers often declare their love within weeks or even days after grooming the victim.
- They avoid meeting in person. When the time comes to meet their victim in person, they may make excuses or cancel plans, especially if they involve travel.
- They ask for money: This is the most obvious red flag. When the victim is already emotionally involved, they will ask for money. Never send money to someone you haven’t met in person.
- Their stories are inconsistent: If something doesn’t add up, it probably isn’t true. Pay attention to the details: You are likely not the only person they are trying to scam, and they might forget something or slip on the details about their fake life and identity.
- They’re reluctant to share personal information: They may be vague about their job, family, or location.
How you can protect yourself
Romance scams will take you by surprise. And as much as you want the perfect love story to be true, you should always listen to your instinct.
- Be wary of profiles that seem too good to be true: Be suspicious of attractive photos and elaborate stories.
- Do a reverse image search. This can help you determine if their photos were stolen from someone else.
- Talk to friends and family: Get an outside perspective on the relationship.
- Never give out personal or financial information, including your bank account details, social security number, and passwords.
- Trust your gut: If something feels off, it probably is.
If you think you’re being scammed, stop all contact with the person immediately and report them to the platform where you met.
How to report a romance scam
- The CAFC is Canada’s central agency collecting information about fraud and scams. You can report online at antifraudcentre-centreantifraude.ca or call them toll-free at 1-888-495-8501.
- You can report scams to the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) at ReportFraud.ftc.gov in the United States.
We can help!
Do you suspect a romance scam?
If you need help investigating a romance scam, we can help! Our SOCMINT investigations cover many cases, including tracking someone’s true identity online.
Proactive Risk ManagementThe emotional impact on the victims
Romance scams can have a devastating impact on a victim’s finances as much as on their mental health. The emotional fallout can be significant, and some victims may experience long-lasting psychological effects.
- Betrayal and Loss: Victims experience a profound sense of betrayal and loss, similar to the grief experienced after the end of a real relationship. They have lost not only money but also the emotional connection and future they thought they had with the scammer.
- Shame and Guilt: Many victims feel ashamed and guilty for falling for the scam. They may blame themselves for being naive or trusting, leading to feelings of isolation and low self-esteem.
- Trauma and PTSD: Some victims may experience symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), such as flashbacks, nightmares, anxiety, and depression. The trauma of being deceived and manipulated can be deeply scarring.
- Loss of Trust: The experience can make it difficult for victims to trust others in the future, especially in romantic relationships. This can lead to feelings of isolation and difficulty forming new connections.
- Financial Stress: The financial losses from the scam can add to the emotional burden, causing significant stress and anxiety.
Coping strategies for the victims
Once you understand that you’ve fallen victim to a scam, you can follow some general tips to start healing:
- Acknowledge your emotions: Allow yourself to feel the emotions that come with being scammed, whether it’s sadness, anger, shame, or guilt. It’s important to acknowledge these feelings and not try to suppress them.
- Seek support: Talk to trusted friends, family members, or a therapist about your experience. Sharing your story can help you process what happened and begin to heal.
- Join a support group: Connecting with other victims of romance scams can be incredibly helpful. You can share your experiences, learn from others, and realize you are not alone.
- Practice self-compassion: Be kind to yourself and avoid self-blame. Remember that anyone can fall victim to a romance scam, and it’s not a reflection of your intelligence or worth.
- Focus on healing: Take care of your physical and mental health. Engage in activities that bring you joy and help you relax. Consider seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor who specializes in trauma.
- Rebuild trust gradually: It may take time to trust others again, especially in romantic relationships. Be patient with yourself and allow yourself to build trust slowly and cautiously.
Remember that healing from a romance scam takes time and effort. Be patient with yourself, seek support, and focus on your emotional well-being.
Join our Cyber Crime Victim Support Groups
We offer anonymous and safe spaces where you can share your experience with other victims of cybercrime and get tips and coping mechanisms from cybersecurity and finance experts, as well as licensed counsellors.
